You'll feel better come the morning light.

Why does today suck so badly? Probably because my life revolves around douchewads. As of right now, I'm just so....fed up. I could probably strangle somebody right now. If it's not one thing, then it's another.

You live to only die.

What the hell?

All I feel for you now is pure hate. Nothing more.

Ohman, I hate it when I get accused of things I don't do. :( 

I'm so tired right now. I can't wait to eat my sherburt and go to bed. Well, I've got to call Jake back too. Waking up early and going to a place where you hate pretty much everyone is not something I look forward to, but I guess I'll have to deal. I can barely focus on what I'm writing because I'm so tired. Urguh. What the hell is shamalamadingdong? SO. I'm seriously thinking about dying my hair like Hayley Williams. I don't know, though. I kind of think it would look bad, but everyone says it would look pretty rad.

UGH, and the next person who sends me a game request on facebook is seriously going to get their throat ripped out by my bare hands. I swear, I've decided I hate most of the human race and I have no problem telling everyone to fuck off. I'm not in the mood to death with ignorace and childish games / drama that everyone tends to enjoy so well. What are you going to gain out of telling me my boyfriend done this or telling my boyfriend things that aren't true. What's wronggg with you?! Because I know for a fact your lying. So, tell me. What will you gain? Nothing. That's what you'll gain. You've lost me, I guess. And you'll never have my friendship again. Sorry, but you shouldn't have done me like you did.

So, I hope you have a happy life knowing what you did to me.
I hope you realize how much of a mistake you made and know that you'll never be my friend again.

Truefriendsstabyouinthefront. Learnthat,andyourlifewillbealoteasier.

Ello, there matey!

So, I'm in a really good mood today. Not sure why, but whatever. Better than being in a mad mood, right? I was so tired lastnight. As soon as I got home, I crashed so hard. Lmfao. AWUX NEEDS HER SLEEPYTIME.

I just put on my mask of makeup and ready to do something already. I'm so not wanting to sit here all day. I've ate like a whole box of poptarts since lastnight too. Which is sad. :[ I really miss mista polar bear, but I'm sure I'll manage. I lost muh cup of koolaid! Urguh, the world's going to come an end. So, I've decided I hate most of the human race. If people weren't such douche wads it might be different....buuuut most peopple areeee douche wads, so yeah. Even best friends (well, people you thought were your best friends) stab you in the back. True friends DO stab you in the front. Sometimes I wonder if anyone is a good person anymore.But I know there is such thing as trustworthy and faithful people. Jacob for example. He's the best person I know. So, that's at least one right? And Lucy and Meegun are great too.
I could go on naming other people, but I have no time. I'm going down the road or something.
Lattttuuuur. :)

Panic At The Disco - The Ballad Of Mona Lisa.

She paints her fingers with a close precision. He starts to notice empty bottles of gin. And takes a moment to assess the sins she's paid for. A lonely speaker in a conversation. Her words are swimming through his ears again. There's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you paid for. 
Say what you mean, tell me I'm right and let the sun rain down on me. Give me a sign I want to believe.
Whoa, Mona Lisa. You're guaranteed to run this town.
Whoa, Mona Lisa. I'd pay to see you frown.

He sense something call it desperation. Another dollar another day. And if she has the perfect words to say, she'd tell but she'd have nothing left to sell him......

Say what you mean, tell me I'm right and let the sun rain down on me. Give me a sign I want to believe.
Whoa, Mona Lisa. You're guaranteed to run this town.
Whoa, Mona Lisa. I'd pay to see you frown.

Oh Mona Lisa.

Say what you mean, tell me I'm right and let the sun rain down on me. Give me a sign. I want to believe.
Whoa, Mona Lisa. You're guaranteed to run this town.
Whoa, Mona Lisa. I'd pay to see you frown.

Say what you mean, tell me I'm right and let the sun rain down on me. Give me a sign. I want to believe.
There's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you've paid for.

You wonder why they call you bitch?

Ohman, this must be a quick post because I'm tired and a new Jersey Shore is coming on soon. :)
My polar bear and I are doing greeeat together. <3
We're so happy and I couldn't ask for a better guy than him. He understands me and he loves me. He cares. What more could I possibly ask for in somebody? He's my other half. Without him, I'm not complete.

Ohman, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow that I certainly do not want to attend. BUT I am going to Sierra's Saturday and hanging out with her and Steph, so it's all good. That makes up for the stupid doctors appointment.

OHMAN, lol.
Lucy wasn't at school today and I thought I was going to die.


So, I told you this was going to be a short post...so....latur.
:3

monsters enjoy latching onto my brain and sucking all the life out. :(

Homework, why must you always haunt me? These ten pages of science aren't doing me many favors that are due tomorrow and I've only done three of them. :(  Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are? I do....sometimes. Why do some people think certain ways when others don't? I guess I just think too much sometimes.
I need to get out of this hell-hole called Chapmanville. I wish I could transfer to Logan, but sadly, I don't have a way there and back, Or I would gladly switch in a heartbeat. Right now, Awux just wants to take a nap and get rid of this terrible headache she has. I'm getting very frustrated with this homework and I'm just about to give up. This headache is like a monster sucking out my brains. ;(

City and Colour - Save Your Scissors.

So go on and I will refrain. And I'll keep on running this neverending race. Maybe next time will be the right time. And maybe next time will be your time.

So save your scissors for someone else's skin. My surface is so tough, I don't think the blade will dig in. Save your strength. Save your wasted time. There's no way that I want you to be left behind. Go on and save your scissors. Save your scissors.

So why does it always seem that everytime I turn around somebody falls in love with me? This has never been my soul intention. And I never claimed to have patents on such inventions.

Just save your scissors for someone else's skin. My surface is so tough I don't think the blade will dig in. Save your strength. Save your wasted time. There's no way that I want you to be left behind. Go on and save your scissors. Save your scissors.

There is something that I must confess to you tonight. To you tonight. And that is I expect nothing less from you tonight. From you tonight.
Go on and save your scissors.
Save your scissors.
Save your scissors.

Go...die.

Okay, so there's this girl, right? Well, I want to rip her face off. NO. I want to rip her throat out with my bare hands. Feed her to my dogs. STOMP HER UNTIL THERE'S NOTHING LET OF HER. You think you can ruin my life? Sweety, you're so sadly mistaken.
I don't need your lies?
I don't need your stories.
I stay in my own business, how about trying to stay in yours? Have you ever tried that? I think not.
It's actually not that hard. But maybe you're just incapable of the simplest things.
You know what? Screw you. Kay?
I'm done with you and your stupidity!

flamingpopcorn,siccck,polarbears,antstakingovertheworldd?

Today has sucked....
I'm sicker than hell. Everyone's grouchy. I'm very irritated from all of this green stuff coming out of my nose. -____-  It's just.....UGH.
That's the only way I know how to describe it. So, good luck trying to figure it out.
I have to go back to school tomorrow sadly. At least I get to see Lucy and Meegun and stuffs. That's better than nothing, right? I got a shirt today with a polar bear on it. :) Which makes me happy for certain reasons you wouldn't understand. I shall wear it tomorrow. I've charged muh Ipod all day, so it has no reason to not work tomorrow for school. I hate borrowing other people's ipods because all their music is just....terrible!

My weekend was all pretty great. I spent time with Sierra, Meegun, Lucy, and Stephanie. :DD Which...is great. Until I got sick.... I still think I'm cursed with a soar throat every so many days. It's just not fair! Haha. Also, why are there ants everywhere already? It just started getting hot and there's trillions of them. I can't imagine what it's going to be like in the dead middle of summer. Unimagineable amounts of them, I suppose? Maybe there here to take over the world. By the time 2012 rolls around, there's going to be so many of them....that they're going to destroy the world. Yes, that's my theory. Take it or leave it.

How can a sick person have such an appetite? I don't understand that much either.

Oh, and lastnight, my grandpa put a bag of popcorn in the microwave....and put it on four minutes. ;D Well, my momaw got it out of the microwave and it was like black. Literally smoking. Almost caught the house on fire. WHATATARDDD. Lololol.

Blind Witness - 10 minutes of clinical death.

Seperated, Isolated.
Away from who I was before. My only consolation is to dream.
Of you laying in your own blood on the floor. Of you laying in your own blood on the floor.
But this is what keeps me so far away. Away from the ones who can give me the chance to see another day. I'm going six feet down. But I swear, I'm taking you with me into the ground!

Precious glory moment come near me. Let that dream become your worst enemy. Let me help you. Put that rope around your neck. Satisfaction everywhere. Then I kick the fucking chair.

Then I kick the fucking chair!

Who gives a fuck? You're fucking dead.
Who gives a fuck? You're fucking dead.
Bitch.


This is weird how it's going to hurt you, but please me. I'll make the pain last forever. I won't give up on you. Til can hear the word I'm sorry. Until you realize what the fuck you did. I wish I wasn't weak that day. Without compassion.

You never got what you fuckin' truly deserved.
Oh glory moment become my liberation.
Become our liberation.

I'mhungry.

So, I haven't been able to get on much recently. That's not good, but oh well, I'm here now. I've been busy this weekend. It's been fun, though. I'm so hungry and I cannot wait for momaw to get home with the pizza already. I'm glad I'm home too. I've actually gotten pretty homesick these past few days. It's been pretty crazy aha.

I'd do anything to go crawl in the bed right now and go to sleep, but I'm too hungry to. As soon as I stuff my face, I'm sure I will.
I'm really happy I just got out of the house.
Must I have to go to school tomorrow? Probably. -____-  URGUH, my stupid phone isn't even working hardly. It's very irritating and I JUST NEED A NEW PHONE ALREADY. Bleh.

Well, for now, I believe I'm going to lay down so I can reply to some of these texts messages I've gotten. No service in kitchen. :(
I'll probably be back on when momaw's home.

Laturrr.

school?noooo:(

So, I've spent the last two days with Sierra. :) 
I'm very tired, though and I actually can't wait to go home, eat, and go to bed. I don't want to go to school tomorrow, but I have to. -____- Unless I get any sicker. My throat is absolutely killing me. Sierra's fallen asleep and I have probably like an hour before I go home....so it looks like I'll just stay on the computer until it's time. 
I wonder if my grades are really what edline says they are? If so, then I'm not failing, but I have two D's. :( 




Fuuuu-- my life.

Tired/Movies/JerseyShoredifferentcountry,wuah?

I. Am. So. Tired.
No, seriously. I feel like I'm a zombie. I stayed at Meegun's last night and we went to the movies and stufffs. Well, Lucy and Meegan slept right and I was at the foot of the bed in a ball haha. Beeeh. D:
So now, I'm all like "man....my back hurts...."
But other than that it was all great :p

Have you ever actually started thinking really hard about things and realize that nothing ever works out the way it's supposed to? Yeah, well that's right. I'm so happy right now it's totally unreal. I've got my one and only back in my life and I'm so greatful. I'm nothing without that kiddo and he's nothing without me. Six months isn't enough, I want an entire lifetime and that's exactly what it's going to be.

Jersey Shore in a different country? Whatthehell? I guess.

I'm extremely tired and now I'm going to Sierra's later. I'm totally stoked because I haven't been there in FOREVERRR. Her mama, my aunt, is going to fix meh a chocolate pie because she's awesome.

:)  Loveyou,Jacob.

Adore - Paramore.

I don't mean to run, but every time you come around I feel more alive than ever. & I guess it's too much. Maybe we're too young and I don't even know what's real, but I know I've never wanted anything so bad. I've never wanted anyone so bad.

If I let you love me, be the one adored, would you go all the way? Be the one I'm looking for. If I let you love me (if I say), be the one adored (it's okay), would you go all the way? (you can stay) Be the one I'm looking for.

Help me come back down from high above the clouds. You know I'm suffocating, but I blame this town. Why do I deny the things that burn inside? Down deep I'm barely breathing, but you just see a smile. And I don't want to let this go. Really I just want to know.

If I let you love me, be the one adored, would you go all the way? Be the one I'm looking for. If I let you love me (if I say), be the one adored (it's okay), would you go all the way? (you can stay) Be the one I'm looking for.

If I let you love me, be the one adored. Would you go all the way? Be the one I'm looking for. If I let  you love me, be the one adored. Would you go all the way? Be the one I'm looking for. If I let you love you (if I say), be the one adored (it's okay), would you go all the way? (you can stay) Be the one I'm looking for.

Confused Awux.

How can a girl cry so much? How is it possible for her tear ducts not to swell shut and dry up? I feel like my heart has been ripped out brutally. The person I love more than anything hates the air I breath for no reason. I haven't done a thing wrong! I guess all I can do at this point is wait and cry. Listen to music and not sleep. "/  Man, I screw everything up, don't I?
I don't know why, but I've been so into Billy Idol these past few days. I mean, I've always liked him and all, it's just these past few days SO MUCH. :)

Things seem a little better so what does that mean? Ugh. I'm so confused. Why is Awux confused of all people about this subject?
REALLY? Fml.

I'mamoron.

Ohman....I'm not quite sure if I can handle all this jealousy and junk anymore. I'm sick of being accused of everything. I just have no idea what to do about anything anymore. I feel like a moron.

Beneath The Sky - Falling In Love With Cold Hands.

As I walk in a room filled with gloom. I don't know what to do.
Suddenly
Suddenly, my life has changed as another one's been taken.
Is it so?
I find myself in a daze as the sorrow grows.
Sorrow grows.
Tomorrow I lay alone wondering, wondering.
I lay alone.
Wondering how come? What if? And why?


Please give them words of comfort so they may rest in peace.


Suddenly.
Suddenly my life has changed as another one's been taken.
Is it so?
I find myself in a daze as the sorrow grows.
Sorrow grows.
Tomorrow I lay alone wondering, wondering.
I lay alone.
Wondering how come? What if? And why?
Suddenly? Is it so? Is it so? Sorrow grows. I lay alone. I lay alone.


And I can't stand this bad feeling. Looking at you across the room today. The sun is shining bright outside. And I can't stand to fight. Walking away. Walking away today.

Blood in hands. My eyes are shut.

Tomorrow, I lay alone!
Me. Me. Me.
Just let it be!

Hippies and Bacon

Hippies? Bacon?
Awux is very confused. Friends keep telling me I'm a retard, but I just can't help it. Maybe I am stupid. Actually, I know I am.....fml.

Whysoserious,ihateihateihate = everything.

Why so serious? Don't get mad, bro. Lmfao.

Seriously. I'm in a bunch of pickles at school and home and everywhere. It's getting pretty old and I'm about to man-punch someone. I'm sick of all these so called "friends". (Even though I'm very glad I have a few friends who are great - Lucy, Meegun, ect.) Don't let one rotten apple spoil the whole bunch. Did that make any sense? Yeah, didn't think so.

You know what else I hate? When people ignore you. Especially when it's the guy who means more to you than life it'self.
No matter how hard I try to avoid drama, it keeps following me. Why?
And sense when do I get all sensitive about something that I normally wouldn't care about at all.
What's happening to me?!?! Jeeze, I'm going to the dark side of fluffy things and rainbows, aren't I? :o  No, couldn't be that. Fluffy things and rainbows? OHCOMEON.

Arizona Fruit Punch, stretched ears, great music, and the person who gets you through the most. That's all ya really need in life. Who needs things like puppies, rainbows, and unicorns? Take that and shove it down your throat, please?

Ohreally?

                                                                Friends<3

Between the Buried and Me - Disease, Injury, Madness.

Don't think. Don't speak. I will do this for you. Every natural thought or feeling you've ever had will change tonight.
Don't think. Don't speak. I will do this for you. Trust the pedestal, for now we become a higher being.

I am your new mind.
I am your new you.
I am your new sin.
I am your new lust.
I am for you now.

Control and collapse, collide. A letter plagued by a twisted word. Slave. You will become mine, for there are no more options. There will not be a sweet consolation. This is what is supposed to happen. A predetermined destiny put in motion by my stronger power.
YOU are ME.


Child:
I sit on this dirty floor. A weak mind for a cause. A cause I do not know. Don't know what to live for. A compliment I've never heard. A comfort I've never felt. It's here, even though it won't last for long.

Man:
Sit down. Stand up, please. Lay down, drink this please. You'll be in peace soon. A tribe within it'self. A vision will display. To blind the caring. Too late...

I am a cult by definition. I am a friend by first impression.
My task:  to recycle this earth. To not repeat human history. Start from scratch, rid every sound. Deconstruct....deconstruct all.

I've bit every method into the hands of my employees. I am a cult by definition. I am a scientist by default. I have saved you. Now you will follow my journey, my destiny. Tonight's your death. Ressurect my new you.

I am a cult by definition. I will end this human world. This world is shit and I have proved this with my followers. Fuck humanity, end life! You are now dead and I soon will be.

Disease.
Injury.
Madness.

possiblestrep/angerissues/STALKERS/sickkkk/whateverandgoodnight.

I wish I had more time to get on this stupid thing. School is stressing me out so bad. I can't concentrate or focus on anything no matter how hard I try to keep my head in the game. Backstabbing bestfriends, confused relationships, blah. Why must things be so complicated with everybody? So, today in 6th period, I realized I believe I have strep throat once again. I CAN'T HAVE STREP. I have too much stuff to do for and in school. I don't have time to go to the doctor and get my throat swabbed with those awful swabby thingies! It's hard enough doing what I'm doing how I'm doing it.
My cousin made me so angry today. -___-  Maybe I just get angry too often? Could that be it?

Have you ever had a stalker? It's kind of weird....because they're...always there it seems. Since I've come back to school, I'm somewhat happier. Okay, fine. I'm a lot happier. NOT because I like school (because I don't) but because I missed everyone so much. It's so good to be back around these people. I feelings I had sitting around the house all the time & always being alone were just...ugh. I can't even explain. Dude, I just keep feeling worse as the minutes pass. Keep feeling sicker and sicker and even sicker.

My mind just randomly shot blank....
Maybe that's a sign that I should go to bed? Baha. It's only 9:17, though. =( Eh, I'm sick. It's not like it could hurt anything or make matters worse. Right? Urguh...I have the writing assessment this week I think. "/
Isn't that just lovely? No.
ANYWAY...goodnight, I guess.